Kicks and Also Pumpkins
“The best was the bust of Ronald Reagan,” Romney continued. “It was plaster but bronzed. Or it looked like it was bronzed. It said, ‘Governor Mitt Romney, the Reagan Freedom Award,’ or something of that nature.” His tone had hardened a little, acquiring the edge of a sarcastic boast. “I actually have several busts of Ronald Reagan that have been presented to me,” he said. Then the room fell silent as Ann returned to the kitchen to set out a small buffet of sliced turkey, corned beef, two loaves of Pepperidge Farm bread (white and wheat) and a selection of both mayonnaise and Miracle Whip. Romney, sinking back in his chair, looked out the window as more geese flew by.
Oingo Boingo - No One Lives Forever
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bebopdeluxe:

Oingo Boingo - No One Lives Forever

royymustang:

#aRE THOSE ED’S DRAWINGS#DID THEY SERIOUSLY HANG UP ED’S DUMB DRAWINGS OF THE HOMUNCULI#LIKE SOME DOTING PARENTS HANGING THEIR TODDLER’S ART ON THE FRIDGE#I’M#IT’S LIEK THE TEAM IS A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY AND INSTEAD OF KIDS THEY HAVE A SHORT ANGRY DOUBLE AMPUTEE ALCHEMIST#THAT’S ADORABLE#TAKE THIS AWAT FROM ME#FMAB#iM SO#I CNA’T EVEN SPELL RIGHT NOW (x)

ladyloveandjustice:

greymichaela:

owlmylove:

therewerestarsintheireyes:

so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL

read it here:

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

image

"You’re a Christian, Harry."

HELP

I’m 100 percent sure a troll is writing these, but it’s pretty amusing.

"Answer the door, Harry!" his Aunt Petunia, a career woman, barked from her armchair where she sat with her feet up. She had short, curly blonde hair and never wore any makeup. Uncle Vernon nodded sheepishly from the kitchen; and put a tray of moist, chocolatey brownies in the oven.

In the last case of professor layton vs phoenix wright, it turns out I forgot about zacharias barnham until he showed up with a popped collar, driving a motorboat to freedom and there’s something tragically beautiful about that

my pet theory for layton vs wright is that eve is secretly bezella

yes I do mean eve the cat

tesspieceface:

sometimes you just gotta ask yourself. do i trust this ice cream cone that’s been handed to me

tesspieceface:

sometimes you just gotta ask yourself. do i trust this ice cream cone that’s been handed to me

3, 18, 20, 43, 57, 59

3: Favorite case?
Probably 1-5, because I loved all the neat DS tricks and most of the characters were pretty wonderful.

18: Why was Grossberg’s youth like fresh lemons?
It was like the scent of fresh lemons, which is substantially different from fresh lemons. Did you even play this game. Name five of Ace Attorney’s albums.

20: What’s Oldbag up to now?
Having a crush on a celebrity who will get murdered soon probably.

43: Why does Gant like swimming so much?
Damon Gant is an anagram for Manta Dong. Wake up sheeple.

57: Where was Matt keeping that glass?
T H E V O I D

59: Will Larry ever find love?
Larry Butz is an anagram for Blurry Taz. Wake up sheeple.

(I know what an anagram is. I’ve always known.)